Content Note (CN): strong language
(if you’re following this blog and listening along with me in the car, you should probably skip this one if you have small children with you)
So up until a few weeks ago, I didn’t even know If/Then was a musical. I first heard about it in passing when a Facebook friend (Chris Brecheen of Writing About Writing, if you haven’t checked out his blog, you should go do that) said he was going. At the time, I thought If/Then was the name of an album and he was going to a concert. I filed the name away in long term storage where random factoids go to percolate (and generally never resurface).
Fast forward to a few weeks ago (when I was thinking I was almost done with Secret Garden). I went to the library to pick up a book on hold (Ellen Kushner’s Swordspoint, which I highly recommend) and perused the musical section to see if anything interesting popped out to me. Well, there was If/Then and that memory was dragged out of long term storage. It’s got Idina Menzel and I like Idina Menzel. Plus, it’s a musical and I like musicals. Bonus, it’s one that hardly anyone has talked about, and I’m blogging about less known musicals, so let’s go for it.
Overview: If/Then is a musical about how the seemingly innocuous choices we make can make a huge difference in how our lives progress, but, conversely, the choices we make aren’t “good” or “bad”; just life in it’s unique variations. It follows the story of Elizabeth along two different paths her life could follow after her point of decision (differentiated by the names Liz and Beth). The structure takes the form of two intertwined narratives, with some songs unique to each life that Elizabeth leads and some songs shared between them, but differentiated by context.
The soundtrack doesn’t include any of the speaking moments (except as they’ve been integrated into the songs), and I’m listening to this in the car, so all the bits that give the songs context are gleaned from the booklet. This means things might get a little light on plot and heavy on analysis. On the plus side, maybe you’ll want to go see it and tell me where I went totally off the rails.
Also, a small format change: I’m skipping Adaptation Corner, since If/Then isn’t an adaptation of anything (that I know of) and there’s only one version (so far). Instead I’ll periodically insert Comparison Interlude, a few shorter bits to compare Beth and Liz’s parallel developments and life events across different songs.
Highlights:
What the Fuck - this is where I knew I was going to like this musical. Up until this point I was a little conflicted. The songs were good, but nothing really blew me away. This song, however, was just the right amount of funny and ridiculous to convince me to stick with it. Because who hasn’t ever done something and then asked themselves, “what the fuck?”
No More Wasted Time - this is my favorite song from all of Act 1 and it speaks to me (in a positive way) that the other songs do not. Recently I’ve been despairing over how little writing I’ve gotten done, but this song reminds me that it’s time to give up being afraid of writing crap. Starting today. I’ve listened to this song so much that I hear it whenever I’ve got the time to write (in fact, I’m listening to it right now).
Plot Specifics: We start off in New York with Elizabeth and her two friends, Lucas and Kate. Elizabeth has just moved back to the east coast and is looking to start her life over. Lucas urges her to go back to her old nickname, “Beth”, and join him to make some professional connections. Kate thinks that she should go by “Liz” and go out to have some fun. This is our point of division between the two timelines, and I want to go over the characters first.
Elizabeth - our main character. She’s an urban planner by trade and has returned to New York after her marriage ended. The details aren’t super important--though they do come up in a song--and we’ll get to them later. It’s tempting to think of “Liz” as the “relationship timeline” and “Beth” as the “professional timeline”, but that’s not really how things go. Personally, I relate better to Liz, but I like Beth’s songs better. Go figure.
Kate - Elizabeth’s friend. She’s a kindergarten teacher in a long term committed relationship with her partner Anne. She’s a bit superstitious in that she believes that seemingly random events are signs to be interpreted. No matter which timeline though, Kate is the best.
Lucas - Also Elizabeth’s friend. He’s a community organizer who has recently come out as bi. This is the only musical I know of that explores both sides of bisexuality, and this might be the only way to do it in the limited time available without invoking any of the tired tropes about bisexuality as a phase or being confused or being depraved. This doesn’t mean that Lucas doesn’t exhibit any harmful tropes, just not the ones typically associated with bisexuals. As with Elizabeth, I like the Liz timeline Lucas better (it’ll be obvious why, later).
So we start off with What If? which sets up the whole divided timeline premise. Liz goes off with Kate and Beth goes off with Lucas. According to at least one person, it comes off a bit “mopey and navel gazing”, which I totally get. On the other hand, I’m the sort of person who agonizes over decisions and constantly looks back to wonder if I did the wrong thing, made the wrong choice. So this song speaks to me a bit more than it would to people who are more decisive.
We go right into the Liz timeline with It’s a Sign. This is sort of Kate’s character song, establishing her dedication to her belief in predestination (it’ll come up later). There is also some plot stuff here with the introduction of Josh--a surgeon in the Army Reserves. Apparently Liz had met earlier him in Madison Park, and Kate insists that meeting him again in the subway isn’t just coincidence, it’s destiny. I like It’s a Sign because it’s all sorts of funny. It does, admittedly, make fun of people who read destiny in every little thing (“Today a pigeon shit right on my head/it’s still in my hair…” it’s a good thing I wasn’t taking a sip of coffee at that moment, or I would have made a mess of my dashboard) but it’s good natured and never stoops to being derogatory.
Then we switch over to the Beth timeline with A Map of New York. So while Beth was with Lucas she gets a call from her old colleague, Steven, who offers her a job as a deputy director. This is sort of Steven’s character song, but since he hardly shows up as a character (no loss--I don’t really like Steven, can you tell?), it’s really more about Beth and what she wants to accomplish with her career. This one’s a bit more my style (though definitely less fun than It’s a Sign), I like the shape of the song and the way memories are shaped by experience to be represented on a map.
Comparison Interlude: Right off the bat we have a divergence in events, but parallels in themes in Elizabeth’s approach to life. It’s a Sign establishes that Liz is going to be faced with how outside events shape her personal narrative, whereas A Map of New York is about how Beth reaches out to affect the world around her. I don't mean to imply that Liz is lacking in agency (or that Beth doesn't face the winds of adversity), only that Liz happens to be more accepting in what fortune (good and bad) throws her way. As with anything, context is key, and the context of Liz’s life is very different from the context of Beth’s.
The song transitions back to Liz on a date with Josh. Liz (and, by extension, Beth) has a history of being unlucky in love, and she’s a little bitter about it. Josh responds with You Never Know, which enumerates all the things that could go wrong in a relationship. I...don’t know how I feel about this song. As much as it’s an honest look at how relationships go, I also feel like it’s sort of a kind of meta criticism of people--particularly women who are generally more at risk--who are afraid of how badly relationships do go that boils down to “but what you’re really afraid of is commitment”. On top of that, there's a lot of casual ableism and classism just thrown out there. Josh actually turns out to be a good person, but as songs go, this was not an ideal first impression.
Meanwhile, Beth’s timeline gives us Ain’t No Man Manhattan, or, as I like to think of it, the social justice song. Okay, so technically, this is Lucas’s character song. He’s a community organizer, remember? Or don’t, since it never comes up again in song (the actual performance may vary). From a plot perspective, this is Lucas browbeating Beth over “selling out” by taking the urban planning position with Steven. Beth timeline Lucas is also not my favorite, I might have mentioned, but I do like this song. It’s fun and entertaining and provides a counterpoint to Map of New York’s assertion that people's lives are shaped by places. Instead, it points out that people are affected by other people and that everyone is connected. In particular, I love the line: “how much you love your life is what every life is worth”. That’s a pretty important sentiment, particularly in the present day.
Next up is our first crossover song, What the Fuck (no really, that’s the name of the song). So plot wise, Liz ends up sleeping with Josh (did we all know that was coming? Maybe? Well, okay, but it didn’t exactly come out of left field), and Beth ends up sleeping with Lucas. Yeah, the guy who just accused her of selling out. Okay, so let’s back up a bit (I was confused listening to this in the car too). Even though he’s now her boss and also married, Steven flirts with Beth, Beth kisses him, and Steven kisses her back, but decides he couldn’t go any further and left. See, I told you I didn’t like Steven. I mean, being married isn’t really an impediment to starting a relationship with Beth as long as he was open and honest with his spouse and she was okay with it, but that’s not what this sounds like (admittedly, we only have Beth’s side, but she’s not exactly an unreliable narrator). But instead of having an open and honest conversation with Beth, he just leaves (again, this is just the impression I get from the soundtrack, it’s possible that things are more nuanced with speaking parts). So Beth ends up in a rebound one night stand with Lucas (does it count as a one night stand, if they go on to have a relationship?). What the Fuck indeed. So Elizabeth laments about ending up sleeping with a man (men? And I thought time travel tenses were bad) in both timelines, but she decides to just go with it. It’s too late to go back now anyway.
Okay, so I love this song. It’s cute and funny and who hasn’t ever done something that you look in the mirror and ask, “why the hell did I do that?” And that’s really where Elizabeth is now, not really stuck with her choices, but a little taken aback by them.
So Liz and Josh decide that they have enough in common to try working out a relationship, and we get Here I Go. Hey look it’s the love song! As love songs go, it’s not particularly romantic. What it is though, is honest. These aren’t characters who fell in love at first sight or had a romantic interlude under the stars or any of that other stuff that romance novels and romcoms have convinced us romance is like. Nope. These are two characters with flaws having an honest conversation about themselves. Well, it’s really Liz having an honest conversation with Josh about herself, but since she’s the main character we’ll go with it.
We switch over to the Beth timeline for the next couple of songs, starting with You Don’t Need to Love Me. So...I have a lot of conflicting feelings about this song, but let’s talk about the plot first. This is a Lucas song set shortly after the events of What the Fuck. Here, Beth timeline Lucas is needy and emotionally codependent. He’s the guy who thinks that a physical relationship can turn into an emotional relationship if he just tries hard enough. Notably, Beth is heard nowhere in this song. It’s entirely about Lucas and what he needs and wants even as he’s trying to convince Beth that he’ll be the Supportive Boyfriend™ without being an emotional weight.
So, yeah. Lucas. On one hand, dude, this is not the relationship that Beth wants. Even if he thinks it’s the relationship Beth needs, he’s totally bypassing her agency by insisting on getting what he need. A relationship ought to be based on mutual desires, not just what he wants and think she needs. On the other hand, I’ve been where Lucas is, so I identify with his position here even as I’m embarrassed (and actually pretty horrified) to admit it. There’s a level of emotional manipulation here that I can see from the remove of time and emotional distance that I could not see at the time. So while I can empathize with Lucas and his fragile emotional state, I absolutely disapprove of his actions here. They’re pretty awful and manipulative. Guys, take it from me, don’t be Lucas.
Okay, so from that point of emotional drama (or is that trauma) we go to what I consider the high point of Act 1: No More Wasted Time. This is mostly a Beth/Kate song with a few stanzas from Elena (introduced at some point as Beth’s assistant/protege, but she doesn’t have any songs to herself and very little play in the soundtrack). We start with a little bit of background for Beth (and Liz) which details her history of failed romance and frustrated career goals, but that’s just set up for the song proper.
Of course, Kate counsels Beth to follow her heart, to make the choice she wants without pushing towards one direction or another, but to make a decision and go for it with everything she has. Have I mentioned that Kate is my favorite? Kate is my favorite. This isn’t a song about sticking with Lucas or taking a job or deciding between the two. It’s a song about making a choice and going for it without looking back. And I love that it’s a song between two woman friends (oh hey, Bechdel-Wallace Test pass) supporting each other in a positive way.
Comparison Interlude: so yeah, Josh versus Lucas? Not really a competition. Fortunately, this isn’t a musical with a love triangle and they’re constantly trying to out do the other competing for Elizabeth’s affections (I may have seen the love triangle trope played out more than a few times). We don’t have to judge them in comparison with each other, just each on their own merits with regards to Elizabeth. It’s important to note, therefore, that Here I Go has both Liz and Josh singing together, and it transitions from “here I go” to “here we go” establishing that they’re both on the same page in terms of their relationship. Contrast this with the You Don’t Need to Love Me/No More Wasted Time pair. Beth and Lucas aren’t even in the same song together, let alone coming to a mutually satisfactory agreement with regards to their relationship. Lucas is basically tossing his needs out the window while simultaneously robbing Beth of her agency to make an informed decision, while Beth is busy making plans of her own without taking Lucas into consideration. I know I was a bit harsh with Lucas (self awareness in conjunction with hindsight can get pretty ugly), but these widening cracks in their relationship are totally on them both. Since neither can be bothered to talk to the other about it. That’s going to blow up. Big time.
So of course, it’s time for another crossover song: Surprise! This one is mostly plot and dialogue, but it’s fun too. Plus we finally get to hear more from our secondary cast. To start off, it’s Elizabeth’s birthday (her 39th) and her friends have planned a surprise party for her (I’m not a surprise party kind of person, so yeah). Elizabeth is also under some strain because, surprise, she’s pregnant. Okay, so here’s where this timeline crossover thing starts to get confusing (you’re probably thinking, “just now?”).
In the Liz timeline, Lucas is there with his boyfriend David (Lucas is bisexual, you might recall, and he’s in a much better place than in the Beth timeline). So Lucas notices that Liz isn’t drinking, connects the dots, and realizes that she’s pregnant (does this make Lucas fit into the Gay Best Friend trope? I’m not sure). David notes that Josh, being a doctor, will probably be able to figure it out. They move the party up to the roof and David takes the opportunity to ask Lucas to move in with him. Lucas hesitates (wow, Liz timeline Lucas is different from Beth timeline Lucas) and David points out that they're in an actual relationship now.
We switch over to Beth confiding her pregnancy to Elena, and telling her that Lucas just thinks that he loves her. And now I'm all, “just go talk to him about it!” Seriously Beth. You don't have to stay with him. You don't have to stay pregnant. Those are your choices, and no one gets to make them but you. I get that he's super emotionally codependent, but the guy deserves an open and honest conversation about those things. Not you deciding that you know better than he does what he feels. That's like the lowest of the low bars. Gah! Okay, I'm back now. Elena encourages Beth to do what she wants to do. To move forward with her life, whatever that looks like.
We come back to Liz telling Josh that she's pregnant. Josh is surprised, but supportive and thinks they might make a go of it. Looking on from a distance, Kate and Anne are happy for their friend. Kate takes this opportunity to propose to Anne, who is appropriately surprised, but says yes.
From there we move rapidly between the two timelines, alternating lines. Josh presents a cake with thirty nine candles, since Liz loves candles, while Lucas presents a cake with one candle, since Beth hates waste. Then they both ask her to marry them.
End Act 1
Next Up: Act 2 or things get worse before they get better.
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