Jane Eyre, Act 1 (part 1), or my fave is problematic

I have a lot of...mixed feelings about this musical. On one hand, Jane Eyre is one of my favorite novels ever. It is the standard against which I judge all other gothic romance. I own two different print versions, the graphic novelization, and at least three different TV and film adaptations (for the record, my favorite was the 2006 TV mini-series). And I have a lot of love for the musical itself, which got me interested in musicals as an art form (rather than just common pieces of popular culture--like Phantom or Le Miz or Rent--which I was expected to be aware of). Plus, it has a number of songs on my “never going to NOT listen to and sing along with” playlist. On the other hand, while Jane Eyre might have been progressive for its time, it’s time was two centuries ago. It has serious issues with regards to benevolent sexism, gender essentialism, classism, ableism (particularly with regards to mental illness), and cultural supremacy. And, unlike other musical adaptations (props to the Secret Garden!), this musical doesn’t really do much to address or ameliorate those issues.

So while I do love Jane Eyre, I still spend about half of the musical giving it the side eye.

Overview: Jane Eyre is sort of the prototypical gothic romance. A worthy but mistreated orphan who grows up to inherit a great fortune, a house haunted by madness and memories, the forbidden love between a governess and the master of the house, Jane Eyre has it all.

As with the Secret Garden, Jane Eyre is based on a novel, and I’ll be making notes of significant changes as we go, rather than waiting for the adaptation corner. I’ll also be splitting this up a little more than usual. The musical tried to cram most of the novel into two acts, and Jane Eyre is more of a three act book--Jane’s childhood, her time at Thornfield, and the conclusion. So I’ll be splitting this one up in much the same way.

Besides, there’s a lot to unpack in the first few songs.

Highlights:

The Graveyard/Sweet Liberty: The musical does a lot of paired songs that transition directly into each other, and this is my favorite. The first half (the Graveyard) is the transition from Young Jane to adult Jane and I love how smoothly they worked in the transition between actresses midsong. I also like how Jane basically tells life to do its worst as a challenge as it moves directly into Sweet Liberty, which is everything I could want from a feminist theme song (if only the rest of the musical lived up to its potential, but that’s a later argument). It takes the gender essentialist tropes of the 19th century and tells them to go to hell. It points out that women have the same interests, desires, and capacity as men while declaringthat Jane will reach out to claim all life has to offer for herself.

I’m never going to not sing this one in my car (which is probably why it’s better that I don’t carpool).

Plot Specifics: The musical opens with a third person retrospective sung by Jane (the Orphan), the eponymous heroine. She is an orphan in the care of her aunt, Mrs. Reed--who is herself a widow with three children (the musical reduces this number to one). The Orphan makes Jane out to be a passive recipient of abuse, with only a doll for friendship. In the book, however, Jane is pert and feisty. Though faced with abuse and cruelty, she rebels instead of passively wishing for freedom. This is the first of many side eyes I am giving the musical. Mrs. Reed, who considers Jane’s demands for justice to be evidence of lying, sends her to a boarding school: Lowood School, run by Mr. Brocklehurst. It’s not clear from the musical what precipitates this change, but it could simply be cruelty (Mrs. Reed is that sort of person).

Side Eye Count: 1

In Children of God, we learn that Mr. Brocklehurst is the worst sort of religious authoritarian, blaming children for their own circumstances. The sort of person who says, “God wouldn’t have made you orphans if you didn’t deserve it” and uses social stigma to punish perceived infractions. Lowood itself is no model of education. The children are threatened with corporal punishment for audible breathing and given food that, not only is undesirable, but not actually identifiable as food. The book itself goes into more detail about the abuses at Lowood, as Jane is both stigmatized by the staff for being a liar (according to Mrs. Reed, which is sufficient evidence for Mr. Brocklehurst) and targeted by the other students (who find it convenient to blame her for their infractions knowing that she will not be believed, having been labeled a liar).

In this swamp of abuse and despair, Jane finds a friend, Helen Burns. Helen is older, sickly, and more philosophical about her fate. An example of the “too good for this world” trope, Helen sings about how revenge is useless and there’s no point in fighting against oppression (Forgiveness). In fact, she suggests that doing so is actively harmful.

Naturally, Helen dies of consumption, but the subsequent investigation into her death prompts significant reforms of Lowood.

I always (always) give the musical a side-eye when Forgiveness comes up. First off, can we talk about how the “too good for this world” trope is almost universally applied to women? Remember Meg from Little Women? Helen Burns falls into the same category. Yeah. Way to reinforce unrealistic gender roles on women and girls. Certainly there’s the argument that Charlotte Bronte wrote Helen as a tribute to her sister who died of consumption. And there’s no argument that consumption (now better known as TB) was a serious problem for that time period. But there’s no reason for that trope to persist in fiction today. We’ll talk about gender essentialism and that madonna/whore binary later, now I want to talk about fridging. The fridging trope is when a character (almost always female) dies for the express purpose of movingthe main character’s (almost always male) story forward without agency or regard to their own story. Helen is fridged to bring Jane to a religious epiphany (certainly Jane never once questions her faith after the Graveyard), which, I would argue, is largely due to Helen’s influence. At least that is how it is presented in the book and the musical doesn’t really make any case for Jane’s strong faith (which will definitely come up again).

Side Eye Count: 2

Time passes and the reforms at Lowood are sufficient that Jane agrees to become a teacher there--not that she really has anywhere else to go (the Graveyard). As much as I love this song, it doesn’t actually contribute much to the plot, serving mostly as a transition from child Jane to adult Jane. Well, this is really the only song where Jane questions her faith and why her deity has punctuated his judgement with sorrow (in the form of Helen’s death) rather than mercy. But it’s brief, and it leads directly to Sweet Liberty.

So teaching at Lowood is insufficiently interesting to keep Jane’s interest, so she applies to become a governess elsewhere. I wrote about why I like Sweet Liberty in the highlights, but it bears elaboration and contextualizing. Up until this point, Jane has been constrained by her family and her school--and not always to her liking. This is really the first time she chooses her fate for herself, breaking custom and convention to take her life in a different direction than the one expected of her. Jane has a point that women are not nearly as free as men to choose their own fates. They were restricted by the social structures of the time to be teachers, nurses, housekeepers, or wives--and poverty limited those choices even further. Even today, women have fewer options than men (though more than i Jane’s time) and are constrained by social expectation rather than allowing their interests or talents to define their roles.

Practically, Jane does not expect to simply change careers or be welcomed into society with open arms. Instead she plays to her strengths and applies to become a governess. Her application is accepted by a Mrs. Fairfax at Thornfield Hall, which begins the plot proper. And that’s where we’ll leave off.

Next Up: Jane Eyre Act 1 (part 2), or “oh misogyny, there you are”

If/Then (Act II) or that...was not what I was expecting

So quick recap: If/Then is the story of Elizabeth as she navigates through the trials and tribulations of life and relationships. It follows a split timeline format, separating the two into the “Liz” timeline and the “Beth” timeline, establishing a contrast by setting up the situations in parallel.

The booklet indicates a different song order for a live performance than appears on the soundtrack (which led to some confusion when I listened in the car). For the purposes of plot clarity, I’ll be going by the book indicated order, but know that the soundtrack has a different song order (which may cause some confusion).

Highlights:

The Moment Explodes - confession time, this is the first Act II song that I really attached to--enough that I always listen to it when it comes up and I always sing along to it. Which, I’ve got to say, is a little awkward while I’m driving in heavy rain--not the best song for that. It’s powerful in a rising sense of anticipation and dread, without ever letting that climax come to fruition. Maybe I’m just more of an epic drama sort of person?

Love While You Can - I have...complicated feelings about this song. On one hand, I live it! It’s singable (well, as long as you aren’t actually expecting me to hit any notes--I’d like to blame my driving, but really I can’t sing) and I love the sentiment. On the other hand, it’s contextually problematic in ways that I’ll address later. Yeah, it’s complicated.

Always Starting Over - This is another song that I always listen to (I told you Act II had more singable songs). I love the message that we can move forward and that nothing is set in stone until after it’s done.

Plot Specifics: When we last saw Liz and Beth, they’d already become very different people. Certainly, some of their circumstances were similar on a surface level, but any cursory examination of context dispels that notion right quick. So Liz is in a committed relationship with Josh, a military surgeon she met in Central Park and decided to go on a blind date with in Act I. Beth is in a codependent romantic relationship with her friend Lucas. Both Liz and Beth found themselves unexpectedly pregnant and had been proposed to by Josh and Lucas respectively. Notably, Liz informed Josh about her pregnancy, whereas Beth did not tell Lucas. I talked about these two relationships at length in Act I review, but sufficed to say that Liz is in a much healthier place than Beth.

So let’s just dive in. Act II opens with This Day/Walking By A Wedding which is really the same song but with wildly different circumstances for Beth and Liz. This is the first crossover song where their lives are wildly different, and it shows.

Beth starts the song with the wistful, melancholy Walking By A Wedding, describing the circumstances of a park wedding from the outside. Circumstances that, of course, she is familiar with, having been married once before. Also notable is that she’s singing (and presumably walking) alone. Oh, and according to the booklet, she is noticeably no longer pregnant. Quick switch to This Day which is a happy, fun ensemble song. A pregnant Liz is getting married to Josh. We have a brief aside to Kate and Anne, who are happily planning their own wedding, and then back to Beth. Beth is still wistful about not being in a situation where a wedding was possible (or even advisable), but I don’t feel that it reaches the point of regret. Wherever she is emotionally, Beth doesn’t want to take back any of her decisions, she just seems to wish the outcome could be different. And back to Liz who is reveling in wedded bliss. The song makes clear that she hasn’t forgotten the difficult events that brought her here, but also that she thinks they were worth it.

Josh gets the next song with Hey Kid and if there’s any more honest song about impending fatherhood, I haven’t heard it. From the length of the labor to the tiny screaming human to the blended cocktail of love and fear and joy and hope and terror, that was pretty much my experience of new fatherhood. I was a hot mess. Other fathers might have a different experience, but Hey Kid brought all those memories back up to the surface.

The soundtrack places Some Other Me here, but narratively, next we get Lucas and David in a light hearted romance song with Best Worst Mistake. You’ll remember (or maybe you won’t, since this is ridiculously late) that Liz timeline Lucas moved in with his romantic partner David back in Surprise.

(Kudos to the writers for giving Bisexual Lucas two different and equally valid relationships with two different genders.)

Lucas and David are doing childcare for Liz and Josh--the booklet implies that this is not a regular thing, so it might be more along the lines of babysitting, but I’m not sure--and they start discussing their relationship. Lucas, continuing the trend we saw in Surprise, is reluctant to say the L-word to describe their relationship (a definite difference from Beth timeline Lucas who rushed into it right from the get go). David gently calls him out on it. Or not so gently, really, but given that they’ve been in a committed relationship for more than a year, David’s pointed commentary isn’t all that misplaced. Bonus though for the romantic love song being with a same-sex couple and double bonus for the focus of their song being on their actual relationship rather than the fact that they’re GSD.

Comparison Corner: Lucas is a study in relationship extremes. Beth timeline Lucas is a needy, clingy, codependent sort of partner and Liz timeline Lucas is commitment adverse. Remember back in Act I where I said Lucas avoided the harmful bisexual tropes? Yeah. But they also managed to hit the prevalent male relationship tropes along the way. Beth timeline Lucas is the guy who thinks, “if I just love her enough, she’ll love me back.” A trope consistently reinforced by our media, but relationships don’t actually work that way and kudos to the writers for pointing that out. Liz timeline Lucas, on the other hand, is the stereotypical commitmentphobic male which is both more and less problematic. More, because it should be okay for a person to commit to their partner to whatever degree they feel comfortable and not be pressured into a more intense relationship than they feel ready for. Less, because Lucas and David actually talk through their relationship issues which is a relative rarity in fiction--though an absolutely necessary part of real relationships. Obviously, I like Liz timeline Lucas better, but I do appreciate the nuanced approach the writers gave to Beth timeline Lucas.

Musicals (and other works of fiction) tend to follow certain narrative arcs. Broadly, lives either get better by overcoming a series of progressively more difficult challenges or they get worse as life takes its toll. If/Then Act II is no exception, despite having two separate narrative threads to weave. Beth hit her low point in Walking by a Wedding, but This Day was a major high point for Liz, which means that she’s due for misfortune. I’m telling you this because I Hate You is not a positive song and you deserve some warning.

So back to Liz and Josh. Some time has passed since Hey Kid and they now have two children. Their lives are relatively stable when Josh gets recalled to active duty (he was an army surgeon, if you recall). Liz doesn’t want him to go and I Hate You is a raw and honest look at her emotions. Some people are cut out to be army spouses, people who can stay home and be supportive while their spouse walks into a war zone. That’s...not Liz. She’s angry and hurt and terrified. She doesn’t want him to go, despite his assurances, because she’s scared. But she also has an image of herself as independent and self-sufficient and she just wants him to go so she can hurt without anyone seeing and get over it--like ripping off a band aid. If this were a traditional story this would lead to an epiphany where Liz realizes that she does love him, just in time for him to come home and be met with open arms. This, however, is If/Then, a story that at least attempts to show how life really goes. Of course, Liz gets her epiphany. She realizes that she both loves and needs Josh, just in time to get The Letter. The one every military spouse dreads. The one that says that their spouse has been killed in action. Liz, needless to say, does not take it well. She definitely has some complex emotions, grief, yes, but also anger andguilt. Eventually there is a sort of acceptance, but no real healing.

And on that note, we go back to Beth.

Well, actually we go to a crossover song (You Learn to Live Without), but we have to go over what happened with Beth first. So sometime between Act I and Act II Beth had an abortion without telling Lucas. Did everyone get that Needless to say, they are no longer an item. And I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. Did I think their relationship was deeply unhealthy? Yes. And did I think Beth timeline Lucas was a big part of that? Yes. And do I think Beth had every right to get an abortion when she didn’t want a child? Yes. But (and here’s the sticky wicket) I ALSO think she should have told Lucas. Not given him a chance or let him talk her out of it. Nope. Beth is an adult and knows her own mind. The decision, beginning and end, was hers to make. That being said, when you’re in a relationship, you have a duty to inform your partner about big, life altering decisions. You don’t have to give them a say in those decisions if you don’t want to, but you should at least tell them.

Okay, so back to the plot. A lot happened, apparently, in dialogue that isn’t present on the CD. So somewhere between Act I and Act II, Beth’s assistant, Elena (she had a few lines in the ensemble songs and played her part in Surprise convincing Beth to choose her own happiness, but no songs to herself) decided to put her career on the back burner and have children. A decision which Beth feels leaves her in the lurch. So, You Learn to Live Without is both a crossover song and a time lapse montage song for Liz and Beth. Liz, of course, is learning to live without Josh and raise their two sons alone. She’s still struggling with her grief as she watches them grow older and lets Josh’s last few physical items go. Beth, on the flipside, is also struggling to live without a partner (both professionally and romantically) and, while some of those are bridges she burned herself, that doesn’t make her any less lonely. In either case, both  are unhappy--for wildly different reasons, but still unhappy.

Comparison Corner: On one hand, this plays into the “Doomed by Fate” trope so common in split timeline stories (though that could be more of an outgrowth of the science fiction/fantasy genre where it mostly appears). On the other, that seems disrespectful to Beth and Liz’s real pain. People, even successful people, are lonely and their success is often of little comfort during the wee, small hours. And people who have lost partners still struggle on, their grief is equally real. There is no hierarchy of pain--though some might argue differently--both lonliness and grief are valid and real and painful.

Then Beth goes on a business trip where the plane goes down (The Moment Explodes). She comes out of it alright, but the near death experience has brought her a fresh perspective on life and she decides to call Lucas, giving us Some Other Me (for some reason the soundtrack places Some Other Me immediately after Hey Kid, which was really confusing until I read the booklet). So this is Beth and Lucas’s (sort of) reconciliation song. They aren’t getting back together (which is fine with me, because their romantic relationship was deeply unhealthy), but at least they’re talking again (see I told you I liked Liz timeline Lucas better). The song itself plays on the whole premise of the musical, exploring various, exponentially different ways their lives could have gone. But in the end, each life is complete and separate (like Beth and Liz) and everyone has to live their own life. It’s sad and wistful, but communication is the beginning of healing. Maybe Beth and Lucas aren’t a couple any longer, but perhaps they can salvage their friendship. And that’s no small thing.

So, brief plot interlude...in the blog not the musical. If you were watching this on stage, you’d probably know this already, but the musical takes place over years and in that time relationships change and evolve. Some people split up and some people find other partners. The point being, none of these changes are wrong if you have open, honest, mutual communication with your partner(s) and everyone’s needs are being met.

That’s...not the case with Kate and Anne. Anne has an affair and Kate--who is all about cosmic signs and destiny and fate--decides on divorce. Here, Beth, still fresh from her epiphany in The Moment Explodes, comes in with Love While You Can. As I mentioned before, I have very mixed feelings about this song! On one hand I love the message and the song itself. This is another one that I always listen to and sing along with. On the other hand…”Straight Savior Girl Saves Lesbian Relationship with well timed advice” is a tough pill to swallow. Especially since Liz timeline Kate and Anne do split up. It’s like their relationship can’t survive without Beth to put things in perspective. What I’m trying to say is that, while I think the song is great in isolation, it’s contextually problematic. Oh, but hey, it does pass the Bechdel-Wallace test. At least two named female characters talking about something other than a man. So net win? Seriously, my fave is problematic.

So this is where Steven--you know “the one who got away” in Act I--shows back up. He’s divorced now, and wants to pick things up where he and Beth left off--both professionally and romantically. He even tosses in a nice reprise of Map of New York where he demonstrates how well he knows Beth by pointing out her faults and...ugh. Just ugh. Maybe I’m missing some critical context by not hearing the speaking parts of the musical, I don’t know, but Steven is the worst. I mean Josh and Lucas aren’t perfect, but Lucas comes across as an entitled opportunist. I mean, where has this guy been in the years since he decided he couldn’t cheat on his wife? And now, years later, he thinks he can just pick things up where he left off? Beth isn’t the same person now as she was then--years and some difficult life experiences will do that--and she turns him down on both counts. As I type this, I realize that I’m not really being fair to Stephen. After all the reason I’m sympathetic to Beth is that I’ve listened to her struggles. It’s possible that Seven has had his own invisible struggles to deal with that I’m not recognizing.

And back to Liz, who we left off in...not a great place. Certainly, she was learning to cope without Josh, and she was beginning to manage her grief, but the healing was most definitely in the early stages. In comes David (Liz timeline Lucas’s husband) with What Would You Do? Like Some Other Me this is a fourth wall breaking song that looks at how our choices might be different if we knew how they would turn out. And it’s a tough question: do you give up on years of joy when you know for certain that they will end in tears? Not just the possibility--that’s always present--but the certianty that tragedy will come. It’s a difficult question, but Liz answers it with Always Starting Over. This one starts off by picking up the melody from I Hate You and the complicated grief/anger/depression emotional cocktail Liz is still feeling. But she’s made great strides since then in processing her grief. While she’s not “over it” (whatever that means), she’s ready to move forward and go on to the next thing.

And so, naturally we close with a reprise of What If? With Liz accepting a job from Stephen and Beth going off to meet Lucas and Kate, and running into an Army doctor named Josh…

Comparison Corner: Can we talk about that ending? I mean, okay, I et what they were going for, coming full circle and al that but really?! The whole musical was about how little choices can make big, unexpected changes and throughout Beth and Liz were different people--even when the songs were the same, they were in wildly different contexts and circumstances. And choices mattered because fate was what each of us made of it. So the writers decided to undercut that entire message by putting Beth on Liz’s path and vice versa? Oh, certainly, they’re different people now and bound to make different choices, but still. It’s been weeks and I’m still not sure what to make of that ending.

Final Score: C+ (fun, but not awe inspiring)

Next Up: Jane Eyre Act I or My Fave is Problematic

If/Then (Act 1) or how to do braided narratives

Content Note (CN): strong language

(if you’re following this blog and listening along with me in the car, you should probably skip this one if you have small children with you)

So up until a few weeks ago, I didn’t even know If/Then was a musical. I first heard about it in passing when a Facebook friend (Chris Brecheen of Writing About Writing, if you haven’t checked out his blog, you should go do that) said he was going. At the time, I thought If/Then was the name of an album and he was going to a concert. I filed the name away in long term storage where random factoids go to percolate (and generally never resurface).

Fast forward to a few weeks ago (when I was thinking I was almost done with Secret Garden). I went to the library to pick up a book on hold (Ellen Kushner’s Swordspoint, which I highly recommend) and perused the musical section to see if anything interesting popped out to me. Well, there was If/Then and that memory was dragged out of long term storage. It’s got Idina Menzel and I like Idina Menzel. Plus, it’s a musical and I like musicals. Bonus, it’s one that hardly anyone has talked about, and I’m blogging about less known musicals, so let’s go for it.

Overview: If/Then is a musical about how the seemingly innocuous choices we make can make a huge difference in how our lives progress, but, conversely, the choices we make aren’t “good” or “bad”; just life in it’s unique variations. It follows the story of Elizabeth along two different paths her life could follow after her point of decision (differentiated by the names Liz and Beth). The structure takes the form of two intertwined narratives, with some songs unique to each life that Elizabeth leads and some songs shared between them, but differentiated by context.

The soundtrack doesn’t include any of the speaking moments (except as they’ve been integrated into the songs), and I’m listening to this in the car, so all the bits that give the songs context are gleaned from the booklet. This means things might get a little light on plot and heavy on analysis. On the plus side, maybe you’ll want to go see it and tell me where I went totally off the rails.

Also, a small format change: I’m skipping Adaptation Corner, since If/Then isn’t an adaptation of anything (that I know of) and there’s only one version (so far). Instead I’ll periodically insert Comparison Interlude, a few shorter bits to compare Beth and Liz’s parallel developments and life events across different songs.

Highlights:

What the Fuck - this is where I knew I was going to like this musical. Up until this point I was a little conflicted. The songs were good, but nothing really blew me away. This song, however, was just the right amount of funny and ridiculous to convince me to stick with it. Because who hasn’t ever done something and then asked themselves, “what the fuck?”

No More Wasted Time - this is my favorite song from all of Act 1 and it speaks to me (in a positive way) that the other songs do not. Recently I’ve been despairing over how little writing I’ve gotten done, but this song reminds me that it’s time to give up being afraid of writing crap. Starting today. I’ve listened to this song so much that I hear it whenever I’ve got the time to write (in fact, I’m listening to it right now).

Plot Specifics: We start off in New York with Elizabeth and her two friends, Lucas and Kate. Elizabeth has just moved back to the east coast and is looking to start her life over. Lucas urges her to go back to her old nickname, “Beth”, and join him to make some professional connections. Kate thinks that she should go by “Liz” and go out to have some fun. This is our point of division between the two timelines, and I want to go over the characters first.

Elizabeth - our main character. She’s an urban planner by trade and has returned to New York after her marriage ended. The details aren’t super important--though they do come up in a song--and we’ll get to them later. It’s tempting to think of “Liz” as the “relationship timeline” and “Beth” as the “professional timeline”, but that’s not really how things go. Personally, I relate better to Liz, but I like Beth’s songs better. Go figure.

Kate - Elizabeth’s friend. She’s a kindergarten teacher in a long term committed relationship with her partner Anne. She’s a bit superstitious in that she believes that seemingly random events are signs to be interpreted. No matter which timeline though, Kate is the best.

Lucas - Also Elizabeth’s friend. He’s a community organizer who has recently come out as bi. This is the only musical I know of that explores both sides of bisexuality, and this might be the only way to do it in the limited time available without invoking any of the tired tropes about bisexuality as a phase or being confused or being depraved. This doesn’t mean that Lucas doesn’t exhibit any harmful tropes, just not the ones typically associated with bisexuals. As with Elizabeth, I like the Liz timeline Lucas better (it’ll be obvious why, later).

So we start off with What If? which sets up the whole divided timeline premise. Liz goes off with Kate and Beth goes off with Lucas. According to at least one person, it comes off a bit “mopey and navel gazing”, which I totally get. On the other hand, I’m the sort of person who agonizes over decisions and constantly looks back to wonder if I did the wrong thing, made the wrong choice. So this song speaks to me a bit more than it would to people who are more decisive.

We go right into the Liz timeline with It’s a Sign. This is sort of Kate’s character song, establishing her dedication to her belief in predestination (it’ll come up later). There is also some plot stuff here with the introduction of Josh--a surgeon in the Army Reserves. Apparently Liz had met earlier him in Madison Park, and Kate insists that meeting him again in the subway isn’t just coincidence, it’s destiny. I like It’s a Sign because it’s all sorts of funny. It does, admittedly, make fun of people who read destiny in every little thing (“Today a pigeon shit right on my head/it’s still in my hair…” it’s a good thing I wasn’t taking a sip of coffee at that moment, or I would have made a mess of my dashboard) but it’s good natured and never stoops to being derogatory.

Then we switch over to the Beth timeline with A Map of New York. So while Beth was with Lucas she gets a call from her old colleague, Steven, who offers her a job as a deputy director. This is sort of Steven’s character song, but since he hardly shows up as a character (no loss--I don’t really like Steven, can you tell?), it’s really more about Beth and what she wants to accomplish with her career. This one’s a bit more my style (though definitely less fun than It’s a Sign), I like the shape of the song and the way memories are shaped by experience to be represented on a map.

Comparison Interlude: Right off the bat we have a divergence in events, but parallels in themes in Elizabeth’s approach to life. It’s a Sign establishes that Liz is going to be faced with how outside events shape her personal narrative, whereas A Map of New York is about how Beth reaches out to affect the world around her. I don't mean to imply that Liz is lacking in agency (or that Beth doesn't face the winds of adversity), only that Liz happens to be more accepting in what fortune (good and bad) throws her way. As with anything, context is key, and the context of Liz’s life is very different from the context of Beth’s.

The song transitions back to Liz on a date with Josh. Liz (and, by extension, Beth) has a history of being unlucky in love, and she’s a little bitter about it. Josh responds with You Never Know, which enumerates all the things that could go wrong in a relationship. I...don’t know how I feel about this song. As much as it’s an honest look at how relationships go, I also feel like it’s sort of a kind of meta criticism of people--particularly women who are generally more at risk--who are afraid of how badly relationships do go that boils down to “but what you’re really afraid of is commitment”. On top of that, there's a lot of casual ableism and classism just thrown out there. Josh actually turns out to be a good person, but as songs go, this was not an ideal first impression.

Meanwhile, Beth’s timeline gives us Ain’t No Man Manhattan, or, as I like to think of it, the social justice song. Okay, so technically, this is Lucas’s character song. He’s a community organizer, remember? Or don’t, since it never comes up again in song (the actual performance may vary). From a plot perspective, this is Lucas browbeating Beth over “selling out” by taking the urban planning position with Steven. Beth timeline Lucas is also not my favorite, I might have mentioned, but I do like this song. It’s fun and entertaining and provides a counterpoint to Map of New York’s assertion that people's lives are shaped by places. Instead, it points out that people are affected by other people and that everyone is connected. In particular, I love the line: “how much you love your life is what every life is worth”. That’s a pretty important sentiment, particularly in the present day.

Next up is our first crossover song, What the Fuck (no really, that’s the name of the song). So plot wise, Liz ends up sleeping with Josh (did we all know that was coming? Maybe? Well, okay, but it didn’t exactly come out of left field), and Beth ends up sleeping with Lucas. Yeah, the guy who just accused her of selling out. Okay, so let’s back up a bit (I was confused listening to this in the car too). Even though he’s now her boss and also married, Steven flirts with Beth, Beth kisses him, and Steven kisses her back, but decides he couldn’t go any further and left. See, I told you I didn’t like Steven. I mean, being married isn’t really an impediment to starting a relationship with Beth as long as he was open and honest with his spouse and she was okay with it, but that’s not what this sounds like (admittedly, we only have Beth’s side, but she’s not exactly an unreliable narrator). But instead of having an open and honest conversation with Beth, he just leaves (again, this is just the impression I get from the soundtrack, it’s possible that things are more nuanced with speaking parts). So Beth ends up in a rebound one night stand with Lucas (does it count as a one night stand, if they go on to have a relationship?). What the Fuck indeed. So Elizabeth laments about ending up sleeping with a man (men? And I thought time travel tenses were bad) in both timelines, but she decides to just go with it. It’s too late to go back now anyway.

Okay, so I love this song. It’s cute and funny and who hasn’t ever done something that you look in the mirror and ask, “why the hell did I do that?” And that’s really where Elizabeth is now, not really stuck with her choices, but a little taken aback by them.

So Liz and Josh decide that they have enough in common to try working out a relationship, and we get Here I Go. Hey look it’s the love song! As love songs go, it’s not particularly romantic. What it is though, is honest. These aren’t characters who fell in love at first sight or had a romantic interlude under the stars or any of that other stuff that romance novels and romcoms have convinced us romance is like. Nope. These are two characters with flaws having an honest conversation about themselves. Well, it’s really Liz having an honest conversation with Josh about herself, but since she’s the main character we’ll go with it.

We switch over to the Beth timeline for the next couple of songs, starting with You Don’t Need to Love Me. So...I have a lot of conflicting feelings about this song, but let’s talk about the plot first. This is a Lucas song set shortly after the events of What the Fuck. Here, Beth timeline Lucas is needy and emotionally codependent. He’s the guy who thinks that a physical relationship can turn into an emotional relationship if he just tries hard enough. Notably, Beth is heard nowhere in this song. It’s entirely about Lucas and what he needs and wants even as he’s trying to convince Beth that he’ll be the Supportive Boyfriend™ without being an emotional weight.

So, yeah. Lucas. On one hand, dude, this is not the relationship that Beth wants. Even if he thinks it’s the relationship Beth needs, he’s totally bypassing her agency by insisting on getting what he need. A relationship ought to be based on mutual desires, not just what he wants and think she needs. On the other hand, I’ve been where Lucas is, so I identify with his position here even as I’m embarrassed (and actually pretty horrified) to admit it. There’s a level of emotional manipulation here that I can see from the remove of time and emotional distance that I could not see at the time. So while I can empathize with Lucas and his fragile emotional state, I absolutely disapprove of his actions here. They’re pretty awful and manipulative. Guys, take it from me, don’t be Lucas.

Okay, so from that point of emotional drama (or is that trauma) we go to what I consider the high point of Act 1: No More Wasted Time. This is mostly a Beth/Kate song with a few stanzas from Elena (introduced at some point as Beth’s assistant/protege, but she doesn’t have any songs to herself and very little play in the soundtrack). We start with a little bit of background for Beth (and Liz) which details her history of failed romance and frustrated career goals, but that’s just set up for the song proper.

Of course, Kate counsels Beth to follow her heart, to make the choice she wants without pushing towards one direction or another, but to make a decision and go for it with everything she has. Have I mentioned that Kate is my favorite? Kate is my favorite. This isn’t a song about sticking with Lucas or taking a job or deciding between the two. It’s a song about making a choice and going for it without looking back. And I love that it’s a song between two woman friends (oh hey, Bechdel-Wallace Test pass) supporting each other in a positive way.

Comparison Interlude: so yeah, Josh versus Lucas? Not really a competition. Fortunately, this isn’t a musical with a love triangle and they’re constantly trying to out do the other competing for Elizabeth’s affections (I may have seen the love triangle trope played out more than a few times). We don’t have to judge them in comparison with each other, just each on their own merits with regards to Elizabeth. It’s important to note, therefore, that Here I Go has both Liz and Josh singing together, and it transitions from “here I go” to “here we go” establishing that they’re both on the same page in terms of their relationship. Contrast this with the You Don’t Need to Love Me/No More Wasted Time pair. Beth and Lucas aren’t even in the same song together, let alone coming to a mutually satisfactory agreement with regards to their relationship. Lucas is basically tossing his needs out the window while simultaneously robbing Beth of her agency to make an informed decision, while Beth is busy making plans of her own without taking Lucas into consideration. I know I was a bit harsh with Lucas (self awareness in conjunction with hindsight can get pretty ugly), but these widening cracks in their relationship are totally on them both. Since neither can be bothered to talk to the other about it. That’s going to blow up. Big time.

So of course, it’s time for another crossover song: Surprise! This one is mostly plot and dialogue, but it’s fun too. Plus we finally get to hear more from our secondary cast. To start off, it’s Elizabeth’s birthday (her 39th) and her friends have planned a surprise party for her (I’m not a surprise party kind of person, so yeah). Elizabeth is also under some strain because, surprise, she’s pregnant. Okay, so here’s where this timeline crossover thing starts to get confusing (you’re probably thinking, “just now?”).

In the Liz timeline, Lucas is there with his boyfriend David (Lucas is bisexual, you might recall, and he’s in a much better place than in the Beth timeline). So Lucas notices that Liz isn’t drinking, connects the dots, and realizes that she’s pregnant (does this make Lucas fit into the Gay Best Friend trope? I’m not sure). David notes that Josh, being a doctor, will probably be able to figure it out. They move the party up to the roof and David takes the opportunity to ask Lucas to move in with him. Lucas hesitates (wow, Liz timeline Lucas is different from Beth timeline Lucas) and David points out that they're in an actual relationship now.

We switch over to Beth confiding her pregnancy to Elena, and telling her that Lucas just thinks that he loves her. And now I'm all, “just go talk to him about it!” Seriously Beth. You don't have to stay with him. You don't have to stay pregnant. Those are your choices, and no one gets to make them but you. I get that he's super emotionally codependent, but the guy deserves an open and honest conversation about those things. Not you deciding that you know better than he does what he feels. That's like the lowest of the low bars. Gah! Okay, I'm back now. Elena encourages Beth to do what she wants to do. To move forward with her life, whatever that looks like.

We come back to Liz telling Josh that she's pregnant. Josh is surprised, but supportive and thinks they might make a go of it. Looking on from a distance, Kate and Anne are happy for their friend. Kate takes this opportunity to propose to Anne, who is appropriately surprised, but says yes.

From there we move rapidly between the two timelines, alternating lines. Josh presents a cake with thirty nine candles, since Liz loves candles, while Lucas presents a cake with one candle, since Beth hates waste. Then they both ask her to marry them.

End Act 1

Next Up: Act 2 or things get worse before they get better.